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I changed all my contacts to lord of the rings characters. you’re frodo cuz uve got a nuvaring. let me know if u need help finding mount doom;)
“i’m not sure how you can resist responding to my anal sex joke joke for two whole days… but i’m impressed.”
“i’m thinking about giving my boyfriend a rim job. completely sober. i want this”
“we should take that hip hop class at 10:30 so i can release my sexual frustration on you thru the art of dance.”
“as much as i would like you to impregnate me in the back of your truck, i think im gonna have to cancel our date”
“i like the little scar on ur tummy. i want to kiss it (see im capable of being sweet)”
“Text 1: sorry if i pushed you too far last night. but just so you know, when you do have sex, that’s going to be one lucky guy. or girl. or whatever you’re into”
“Text 2: Oh i know, im not actually suggesting… Cause anyways, right now i want to say and do some very adult things to you. So yeah.”
“i think about you all the time, but especially when i’m by myself and there’s a bottle of jergens handy.”
“i smell like strippers and i have glitter on my fingers. lets fornicate.”